PJO & HOO: The Gods read The Lightning Thief
by AnTheRocker
Summary: What happens when Apollo, Hermes and Ares send back 10 books to past? What will happen when the gods read it with a few visitors? Behavior of many gods may change. Rated T for keeping it safe.
1. Intro

**PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF**

**AT OLYMPUS IN 2020**

All of the Olympians were out watching a Football match, except for Ares, Apollo & Hermes who had decided to stay back.

"Whatcha' wanna do, man?" asked Apollo, completely bored.  
"Maybe we could mess a little bit with demigod quests?" Asked Ares, yawning.  
"Nah. Too old fashioned." replied Hermes.

"Oooh, oooh! I know, I know! How about we send something to the past? Like, us in the past."  
"Good idea." Ares replied.

"How about the books about the Two Great Prophecies? Those about Percy and those about the 7 of the two camps." Hermes said.

"Yeah, awesome idea! I think Percy wrote the books about the first great prophecy and the second great prophecy was written by Rick, the Senior Scribe of Camp Half-blood, with the information passed to him by the 7." Apollo said.

"I think I can smuggle them from the camp. They have those books I think. Lemme concentrate." Hermes said.  
He closed his eyes, and in 2 minutes they had 10 books in front of them. Hermes grinned.

"Got 'em!"  
"Cool! Now let's write a note." Ares said.

"I'll write," Apollo said, clearly excited. He started writing on paper speaking every word out aloud so the other two gods could come to know what he was writing.

"_Dear Olympians,_

_We are from the year 2020. We've sent you a few books, 10 to be exact, about- well, we leave it up to you to find out. And don't worry; everything turns out correct in the end. You know controlling prophecies has never been useful as they always come to pass, so don't try, or we will erase your memories about these books.  
PS: We'll also send you visitors from the future to read with you. _

_Your future selves,  
Apollo, Hermes and Ares." _

"Yep, that sounds great," stated Hermes. "We can send a few demigods."

"Yeah, Man! We're so cool!" The three said together.

"Alright, we will also monitor their reading. I wanna see their reactions." Apollo said.  
"Yeah, great."  
Apollo put the note in an envelope; Ares packed the books in a huge package while Hermes summoned some stamps and stamped them onto the Package and the note. A Huge Lyre, a Caduceus and a Bloody Spear.

"Right-o! We're all set." Apollo said.  
"Let's send the books first and then the Demigods. Which year do you wanna send them to?" Hermes asked.

"How about 2004, at the Summer solstice? That was one year before Percy realized he is a demigod." Ares said, and the other two gods nodded.

Hermes sent the books to the past, and also summoned a special window through which they could look at whatever they wanted. He willed it to show the gods 16 years back.

* * *

**THE DEMIGODS BEING SENT BACK TO THE PAST IN 2020**

**Percy & Annabeth: **

Both of them were sitting near the beach. They were both talking when suddenly there was a white blinding white light and the next thing they knew was that they were on Olympus? And the one which was not designed by Annabeth but the one of the past?

**Thalia:**

She was in her cabin, as she was missing Camp Half-Blood. Artemis had given her permission to go there for a while. She was looking at old pictures – the days she used to travel with Annabeth & Luke, and there was a white light in her cabin, and she was on Olympus? _Artemis must have summoned me, _she thought, not noticing that it was not the Olympus Annabeth had designed.

**Grover:**

He was out, taking care of the forests and sanctuaries, trying to make sure that no place was littered. And then suddenly a white light shone nearby, it crept closer and swallowed up Grover inside it. He only remembered seeing Olympus, he too not noticing that it was the old one, before passing out.

**Nico:**

Nico was busy in the underworld, following a few orders of his father, and that's when he saw a skeleton approaching him. The skeleton suddenly burst into a white light and consumed Nico inside it. He noticed the Olympus was the old one and walked muttering something about stupid gods.

**Piper & Leo:**

Piper had finally set Leo up with some girl of her cabin, when everything blurred out and she fell on top of Leo. He groaned and before he could say anything a white light flashed before their eyes and they were transported to Olympus. _The old Olympus_, Leo thought.

**Frank & Hazel:**

The two had decided to go out for dinner, but as they were on their way, they saw a car accident and stopped to help; but apparently that was not the plan as the car erupted into a white light and both of them disappeared into it.

**Jason:**

Jason was bored and decided to fly up in the air looking for some adventure. Funny how you feel like having a normal life when you're on a quest, and feel so restless while not on a quest. He was thinking about all his adventures until suddenly he slammed into a white wall, _no wait that's not a wall, but a light, _he thought before passing out.

* * *

**AT OLYMPUS ON SUMMER SOLSCTICE IN 2004:**

The 12 Olympians were all seated on their thrones, including Hades and Hestia since it was the Summer Solstice. Everything going on there was normal; Athena ordering her Owls to attack Poseidon, Aphrodite trying to convince Artemis to date this cute guy she found online, Apollo and Ares trying to steal Hermes' flying shoes, Dionysus getting chewed out by Zeus for trying to drink Wine, Hera sending Iris-Messages to demigods, without them knowing, wondering which one to send a monster after, Demeter and Hades fighting over Persephone and Hestia trying to calm all the commotion down.  
A completely normal day on Olympus.

Suddenly there was a blinding white light, with a noise like dying whales, in the middle of the Throne Room and a huge package appeared, along with an envelope, most probably containing a note. A huge Lyre, Caduceus and Bloody Spear were stamped on both of them.

"Um," Apollo said "aren't those the symbols of the three coolest gods? Me, Hermes & Ares!"  
"Yep," said Hermes, grinning "Maybe they're from the future! Let's open them."  
"Yeah! Maybe they're guides on fighting. Or better, a note asking for us to come for a war in the future to help."  
"I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, and as much as we'd LOVE to hear you talk, there's a package needing to be opened, so please." Athena said, with an edge of command in her voice, and the three know better than to argue.

Apollo walked over and picked up the envelope and the package. He opened the envelope and read out aloud:

"_Dear Olympians,_

_We are from the year 2020. We've sent you a few books, 10 to be exact, about- well, we leave it up to you to find out. And don't worry; everything turns out correct in the end. You know controlling prophecies has never been useful as they always come to pass, so don't try, or we will erase your memories about these books.  
PS: We'll also send you visitors from the future to read with you. _

_Your future selves,  
Apollo, Hermes and Ares." _

"We're so cool!" the three said together, and the rest of the Olympians rolled their eyes.  
"I wonder," said Zeus thoughtfully "who are those prophecies about."

Poseidon looked like someone had punched him with a metal fist, and Athena noticed that, though she doubted anyone else had. She decided to leave it for now.

"Read the names of the books" said Hephaestus.  
"Um, okay. Hermes, you read."Apollo said passing him the books.  
"Yeah, sure. They're 'Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lighting Thief', 'Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters', 'Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Titan's Curse', Percy Jackson and the—"  
"YEAH, WE GET IT. They all start with Percy Jackson and the Olympians," yelled Ares "READ THE TITLES."  
"Ok, ok. Take some chill cheese from Apollo, man!" grumbled Hermes and Apollo chuckled producing a moldy blue cheese.  
"Uh… I'll pass." said Ares, totally grossed out.

"Yeah," Hermes said "Good, now where were we? Yeah. 'The Titan's Curse', 'The Battle of the Labyrinth', 'The Demigod Files' and 'The Last Olympian' this is the set of the first Prophecy I'm assuming. Anyway. The second set: 'Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero', 'The Son of Neptune', 'The Demigod Diaries' and 'The Mark of Athena'"

"Cool. Let's read!" said Ares, clearly excited.  
Artemis raised an eyebrow "I thought you didn't like reading."  
"Well, dear, frankly - I don't. But if our future selves have sent it, especially us three, then these books are bound to be interesting!"  
"Uh, sure. Whatever."

"Let us summon Persephone first. Brother?" asked Hades.  
"Yeah, sure." Zeus said and summoned Persephone.  
Hades summoned a Throne next to him, seeing which Demeter grumbled but didn't say anything to Hades. Persephone sat on the Throne and he explained everything and she nodded.

"So, who will start reading?" asked Hera, clearly not excited  
"I will." replied Athena.  
Poseidon rolled his eyes "No surprise." He muttered, only to be attacked by a few owls.

"Alright, let us start," said Athena "**Chapter one: ****I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER**"

Suddenly there was another white light, along with a noise of dying whales and 9 demigods, plus one satyr appeared.

"Why, the visitors are here." said Dionysus, completely unimpressed.

The demigods looked uncertain and a girl with blonde hair asked, "Which year is it? This is not the Olympus I designed."

"You designed?" asked Athena "Wait. What's going on?"

"After the war I re-designed Olympus, of course! You, yourself gave me the job, mom!"

"Wait. This is the year 2004." Zeus said, interrupting their conversation.

"And you are from the future, I assume?" asked Athena. Her daughter nodded.

"Yes, mother. We are from the year 2020." replied she. Her mother nodded and showed her the letter.

"Of course they would do that! They think they can throw us around everywhere without our permission? Let me go back, they'll get it from me."

"Alright children," said Hestia "introduce yourselves."

The Demigods nodded, and a fairly tall, well built, handsome young man with Jet Black hair stepped forward.

"I'm Percy Jackson, the Son of Poseidon."

There was a collective gasp around the room. "Son of POSEIDON?!" both Hades and Zeus yelled at the same time.

"Yes brothers, I had a child."

"I'll kill him!" Zeus said taking out his master bolt, but before he could do anything, Athena interrupted him.

"Remember the letter, father. We cannot change the future, so let us not try."

"But-"

"Please, brother. I know you have a daughter, too." Poseidon said.

"Um," Zeus shifted uncomfortably in his Throne. He remembered how much yelling there had been when he had claimed her, so he decided to drop it. Hades was just glaring at Poseidon.

Poseidon gestured at the children to continue.

Next, the daughter of Athena stepped forward. She was tall and slender, and looked Athletic. She was your typical Californian Girl, only with stormy, gray eyes.

"I'm Annabeth Chase, the Daughter of Athena."

Athena gave her a huge smile.

Next, a Satyr stepped up. He was a curly brown-haired satyr with brown eyes, a brown chin beard and hairy brown goat legs

"I'm Grover Underwood the Satyr, and the Lord of the wild"

"You, what?" Asked Hermes

"The books will explain that, m'lord."

Next, a girl stepped up. She had blue eyes and spiky black hair, and wore dark makeup and punk style clothing. In addition to that, she had a faint, silvery glow around her.

"I'm Thalia Grace, the Daughter of Zeus, and the Lieutenant of Artemis."

"See, brother?" asked Poseidon. But he noticed that Hades wasn't doing or saying anything. He had been quiet through all of this Poseidon/Zeus, Son/Daughter crap.

"Hello, dear. But what happened to Zoe?" asked Artemis.

"Sh- She died, Artemis. It happened on a quest to save you. The books will most probably explain that."

Artemis nodded, but her heart sank.

Next was a boy. He had intense black eyes, messy black hair, and olive skin.

"I'm Nico Di Angelo, the Son of Hades."

Another gasp. Two the Big Three brothers turned towards Hades. He gave an innocent smile, and pointed accusingly at Zeus.

"Remember Maria Di Angelo?"

"Uhm, is he that one?"

"Yes, brother."

"Oh." said Zeus weakly and nodded.

"Wait. What's going on?" asked Poseidon

"The books will explain, I think," replied Hades and turned towards Nico "Where is Bianca?"

Nico wiped a little tear from under his eyes "Dead. Sorry father, but she died on a quest. She had become a hunter before dying."

Hades nodded. He was sad for her daughter, but also happy that his son had survived.

Next, a girl stepped up. She had uneven brown hair and eyes that changed color, from blue to green to brown. She had a slim build.

"I'm Piper McLean, the Daughter of Aphrodite."

"Hi dearie!" Aphrodite said, cheering up. She had thought her children had not got much role so she was kind of sad.

"Hi mom." replied she, grinning.

Next, a boy stepped up. He looked like a 'Latino Santa's elf' with curly black hair, dark brown eyes, pointy ears, a cheerful face, and a mischievous smile.

"I'm Leo, the Son of Hera."

"WHAT?!" everyone turned to Hera. She looked just completely surprised. "YOU HAD A CHILD?!" Zeus yelled, completely surprised, while Apollo muttered "Classy, classy."

Hera turned to Zeus, "I did not!" she looked completely flabbergasted

"Gods. Y'all need some Chill Cheese. I'm Hephaestus' son. I was just kidding."

"You are dead," said Hera "I'm going to send intestinally challenged cows after you."

"OMG! No please! I'm so scared!" said Leo, sarcastically. Annabeth, seeing that Leo didn't know how annoying Hera could be as an enemy stopped him by interrupting their conversation.

"Okay, stop! Leo, keep quiet."

Leo knew better than to argue. He nodded weakly.

Another boy stepped up. He had a babyish face with chubby cheeks and black hair in a military cut. He had a big frame and was stoutly built.

"I'm Frank Zhang, the son of Mars."

"Ares," Ares corrected him "Not Mars."

"No dad, I'm Roman."

Hades spit the coffee he was drinking all over the floor.

"THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"The Books. They'll tell everything. It's just the future that is so messed up!"

"I'm starting to hate this reply."

Next a girl stepped up. She had cocoa-colored skin, brown hair, and golden eyes.

"I'm Hazel Levesque, the Daughter of Pluto."

"Before the oath." added Hades.

And the last demigod stepped up. He was a boy with cropped golden blond hair, blue eyes, and a scar above his upper lip. He was of average height, with an athletic build, and muscular arms.

"I'm Jason Grace, the Son of Jupiter."

"Am I the only one with one kid?" sighed Poseidon. "Let's just read, please. I'm getting a Migraine."

Zeus summoned chairs for the visitors and they sat down.

Athena started reading again **"Chapter one: I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER."**

* * *

******A/N: I re-posted this chapter, as I had better ideas. Anyways, thanks a lot for reviewing, people! :D I appreciate it a lot. **


	2. Athena reads Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE**

**A/N: Few things I wanna say:**

**1. Forgot to say the disclaimer last time: I do NOT own PJO or HOO. *sighs* How can a girl be Rick Riordan? Seriously guys.**

**2. Responding to ****Guest**** from reviews: Man, listen here. MSTing means that Author inserts comments. I'm not inserting any comments, but rather am conveying what I think the Olympians will be thinking or reacting as, if they read the story. Copyright? What did I do exactly? As far as I know there are a hell lotta 'Gods read PJO' FanFics floating around. Don't come to bite my head off for that. And I also never even claimed that I owned these books. **

**Anyway, thanks for the Paragraph advice. **

**3. Thanks for the positive reviews, people. Keep them coming! ^_^**

**4. Sorry for the late update, I'll try updating faster.**

**5. I'm re-writing the Intro. Got some better ideas for it. **

* * *

**"Chapter one: I ACCIDENTALLY VAPORIZE MY PRE-ALGEBRA TEACHER." **

"Um," asked Hades "how exactly do you do that accidentally?"  
Percy smiled and replied "You'll soon see that Uncle."  
_Uncle_ Hades blinked, absolutely surprised by the politeness of the boy.

"**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."**

"Nobody does." said all the demigods present.

"**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life."****  
**  
Poseidon blinked - "Would that even work?"  
"For a while, maybe?" replied Athena, despite being the one who was reading "They can almost always sense out Demigods and the older they get, the more dangerous it is to survive."  
"Hmm," commented Dionysus, clearly not paying much attention "Is it time for lunch?"  
"Pay Attention," warned Artemis "if you don't want to be turned into a jackalope."

"**Being a half-blood is dangerous."**

"Check." Nico said

"**It's scary."**

"Check."

"**Most of the time, it gets you killed"**

"Check."

"**In painful, nasty ways."**

"Totally check."

"WILL YOU LET ME READ, OR YOU WANT TO BE BLASTED?" shouted Athena

"Okay, Okay. Take a chill pill."  
"Two. Take two chill pills." Apollo said.

Athena just rolled her eyes, while the rest present in the room laughed.

"**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. **

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you."**

"They, who?" asked Apollo, just to annoy Artemis.

It worked. She rolled her eyes and replied, "You're so think headed, brother, I swear you wouldn't even know the difference between an Elephant and an ant. 'They' are the monsters, of course."

"Jeez, sis. You hurt my feelings."

"Di immortales! SHUT UP APOLLO! Please, mom. Continue." said Annabeth.

Athena smiled at her daughter and started reading again.

"**Don't say I didn't warn you."**

"You didn't wa-" started Apollo, only to be interrupted by Zeus

"COMPLETE THAT AND I'LL BLAST YOUR SORRY ASS." yelled Zeus.

"Jeez, Dad I ju-"

"Apollo." Artemis warned him.

"Fine."

"**My name is Percy Jackson."**

Surprisingly, this time Athena wasn't interrupted by Apollo, but by her own daughter.

"Of course it is. I mean all of the book titles start with your name."

"Dude, some people are not so bright. So yeah."

Annabeth rolled her eyes, as the Olympians watched, amused.

"**I'm twelve years old. Until a**_**few**_**months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?"**

"YEAH!" all the demigods who knew Percy yelled.

Percy huffed.

"**Yeah. You could say that."**

"He even admits it." Thalia said, grinning.

"**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a****field trip****to Manhattan— twenty-eight mentalcase kids and two teachers on a****yellow school bus****, heading to the****Metropolitan Museum of Art****to look at ancient****Greek and Roman****stuff."**

"Sounds like torture." Poseidon, Apollo, Hermes & Ares said at the same time.

Athena & Annabeth rolled their eyes.

"**I know—it sounds like torture. Most Yancy****field trips****were."**

Everyone laughed.  
"Like Father, like son." Athena commented.

"**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes. Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had****thinning hair****and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep."**

"Sounds like Chiron." Surprisingly, this was said by Dionysus.

"I didn't know you were paying attention." Commented Poseidon.

"Hmmp. I can pay attention if I want to."

"Anyway, yes, that is Chiron." Percy confirmed.

"**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble. Boy, was I wrong.**

**See, bad things happen to me on****field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a****Revolutionary War****cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that... Well, you get the idea."**

Everyone was laughing really hard.

"Uncle, your son is AWESOME!" commented Apollo, in between the laughing.

Percy winked at him.

"**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich."**

"Eeew!" said Aphrodite, disgusted.

"**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you." **

"Thanks for the lovely description." said Grover sarcastically.

"You're welcome." Percy replied, not catching the sarcasm

"**You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria."**

"Way to blow the cover." Said Hermes

"Sorry."

"**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip."**

"That's sad," said Ares "I want some action."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"**I'm going to kill her," I mumbled." **

"YEAH! GO PERCE!" said Ares.

Percy was absolutely surprised by Ares supporting him. They were, like, mutual enemies.

"**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

"**That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat."**

"Party pooper!" Ares glared at Grover.

"**You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens.**

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into."**

Poseidon Paled.

"**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years."**

"Longer." Athena said softly.

"**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a****grave marker****, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye."**

"Monster?" asked Leo, who had been surprisingly quiet between the reading.

Percy nodded.

"**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a****black leather jacket****, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker."**

Everyone laughed.

"You have a way of making everything funny." Commented Persephone.

"**She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**

**One time, after she'd made me erase****answers****out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"Someone needs to teach this satyr to lie." Hermes said

Grover huffed.

"**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"**

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.**

"**Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

All the older Olympians groaned.

"It had to be that one."

"**Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because …"**

"**Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"**

"GOD?" Zeus boomed

"**God?" Mr. Brunner asked.**

"**Titan," I corrected myself. **

"Better."

"**And … he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"**

"**Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"**-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

Athena blinked.

"Percy, you just turned a huge battle into one little sentence."

"**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our****job applications****, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"**

"**And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"Busted!" everyone said

"**Busted," Grover muttered.**

A few snickers.

"**Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

"**I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

Everyone laughed. Chiron was great.

"**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses."**

"When do they not act like doofuses?" Artemis demanded

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Older." Said Zeus.

"**You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

"**About the Titans?"**

"**About real life. And how your studies apply to it."**

"**Oh."**

"**What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard."**

"As he should." Poseidon said

"**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral."**

"He probably had." Said Hera, sadly.

Everyone was shocked. Who knew Hera could feel bad for demigods?

"**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city."**

"Why are you angry, Zeus?" asked Hades.

Zeus shrugged. "I don't know."

"**I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in."**

"Very, very angry."

Zeus huffed.

"**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"**Detention?" Grover asked.**

"**Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius."**

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

"**Satyrs." Dionysus said. **

**Grover blushed.**

"**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table."**

Everyone laughed.

"**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap."**

"YUCK." I think you can guess who said that.

"**Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos."**

Cue more laughter here.

"**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

"Cool!" said Jason

"**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"**

"**-the water-"**

"**-like it grabbed her-"**

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-"**

"**I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

"OH MY GODS PERCE, NEVER GUESS YOUR PUNISHMENT!" yelled Hermes.

Percy backed away, surprised by him suddenly yelling.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"No, duh."

"**Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

"**Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death."**

"He is so sweet! Standing up for his friends." Said Aphrodite.

Grover blushed.

"**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"**I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

"**But-"**

"**You-will-stay-here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

"**It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

"**Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?"**

Poseidon looked so worried, that Percy got up and gave him a hug.

"It's okay, dad. I'm right here! Nothing's happened to me."

Poseidon nodded, and kissed him on his forehead.

"**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel."**

"I need to have a talk with him." Said Poseidon.

"**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling."**

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Poseidon chanted.

All the demigods, except for Percy smiled faintly. Who knew Olympian parents could care so much for their children?

"**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…**

"**You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me."**

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You're such seaweed brain sometimes."

Percy pouted.

Annabeth's willpower crumbled. Percy looked so cute while pouting.

She threw his arm around his neck and kissed him.

Athena glared at the two but said nothing, while Poseidon was secretly happy that his child had found love. Aprhodite squealed. While the other Olympians watched on Amused.

Nico pulled out a camera and took a photograph. Thalia smirked. They were gonna use it for Blackmailing the two.

Just then the both pulled away, and Nico hid the camera. Apollo winked at them. Yeah, baby. This was gonna be good.

**I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am."**

"**Thunder shook the building.**

"**We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room."**

Apollo and Hermes smiled at Percy. He winked at them.

"**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book."**

"It's not so bad!" Annabeth and Athena said.

The rest present in the room rolled their eyes.

The two huffed.

"**Well?" she demanded.**

"**Ma'am, I don't…"**

"**Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons."**

"YOU SENT A BLOODY FURY AFTER MY SON?!" Poseidon asked.

Hades sank into his chair. "It's in the future."

"IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON, I SWEAR I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR IMMORTAL LIFE."

"Jeez, sorry. Nothing will happen to him. He's sitting in front of you."

"**Then things got even stranger.**

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

"**What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword."**

"Wimp." This was also said by Dionysus.

Poseidon glared at him.

"**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!**

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something."**

"You're still letting the mist affect you?" asked Zeus

Percy looked down at the ground sheepishly.

"**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

**I said, "Who?"**

"**Our teacher. Duh!"**

"Ah, the lovely mist." Said Demeter.

"**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me."**

"SOMEONE TEACH HIM TO LIE!" Boomed Hermes.

Grover looked everywhere but Hermes' face.

"**Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

"**Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

"**Now Chiron knows how to lie," Said Hermes "but you, satyr." Hermes shook his head.**

"**The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"That's it for the chapter," said Athena "who will read next?"

"I will." Artemis said and walked over to take the book.

"**Chapter two: THREE OLD LADIES KNIT THE SOCKS OF DEATH." Artemis started.**


End file.
